Verity's Blog

This is one of those things I don't want to write about. I feel like if I don't put it down on paper then its not really happening. But the sad thing is that it is. A month ago our family got turned upside down with the news that my mum has stage 4 lung cancer. It has been a surreal experience of coming to terms with it all and we are having to just take each day as it comes. I have found my whole life thrown into harsh relief of what really matters and what doesn't. Suddenly work is a hard thing to do when I could rather be with her enjoying each moment. All the chasing of material gains seems incredibly futile when faced with losing my mother - it is a loss I can't fathom right now.

I was unsure whether to share this news, but the truth is my work is a journey and my journey is my life and in my life right now my mum is really sick. The next few months are going to drag us all through the fire of life and there is no way that wont impact on who we are and what we do going forward. I am so grateful for this time to just be with her and celebrate her and for us to be able to say everything we want to say. I know that it is a precious gift to have this time however painful the reality of the outcome may be. So for now I am going to take things one day at a time and love my mother with every drop of emotion in my body and pray that whatever is to come is as gentle as can be hoped for.

Want to get what you want? My FairyGodmother can help : )

As all Cinderella stories need a FairyGodmother so too did I when I embarked on selling an album that 'didn't exist'. About year into the project one of my future owners swooped into my life and into the project and told me that she was going to be my 'Fairy Godmother' and help me realise my dream.

Donna McCallum is a tour de force and her input, guidance, vision and mentorship during the rest of the project was invaluable. Not only did she help me in getting the project flying but she also started helping countless other South Africans get clear on their dreams and desires so that they could get out there and get what they want!

It has been amazing to see her profile as SA's one and only Fairy Godmother go from strength to strength and she now has an amazing book out that will help transform thousands of people's lives if they apply the truths and ideas that she shares. The Fairy Godmothers Guide to Getting What You Want!  Her book is a self-help book with a difference. It does not claim to offer readers a quick fix: Rather, it offers readers who are willing and ready to take responsibility for their lives guidelines to living the life they want. The book is infused with a positive, generous spirit and journal exercises, case studies and personal anecdotes will inspire and motivate readers on their path towards self-discovery and fulfillment.

The trick now is to go out and get one - not only to support an inspirational woman but also to ensure that you make 2010 your best year yet! You can pick up a copy at Exclusive Books around South Africa and some CNA’s, or you can make life easier and buy the book online by CLICKING HERE NOW

As a HUGE bonus Donna has asked me to give you a FREE 21 minute Audio Program of guided visualisation technique to help you get clear on and create your dreams and goals for 2010! She will then share with you some tips and tricks on how to turn those dreams and goals into reality.  Download it Here Now 

Looking back - going forward....

If I had been told it would take 3 years to finish the Lucky Packet Project there is a good chance I would never have started.  I have learned the humbling lesson of patience and now understand that anything worth doing well takes time.  I discovered that patience and persistence always pay off - sometimes in ways you cant expect.

The project has led to me talking on stages around the world and sharing with people what is possible when we say yes to an idea and take the risk of seeing where it leads us and  I would never have known the incredible generosity that I would experience from people and get to see just how much support is out there when we take a chance and ask for it.

I got to award 40 Bursaries to South Africans in need of furthering their education and have had the incredible the opportunity to significantly contribute to people's dreams and our first Live Your Dreams artist Mimi Ntenjwa went on to land a record deal and then win Best Young Jazz Artist at the MetroFM awards last year.

The project was embraced by the media & was featured on Carte Blanche, Journey To The Core and Power Within amongst others and is now being used as a case study on viral marketing for MBA students at WITS University - something I could never have anticipated.

The biggest suprise of  all was that an idea that was born over a cup of coffee using Edward De Bono's '6 Thinking Hats' somehow reached the ears of his South African team and in December I was certified as a Six Thinking Hats Trainer - able to help people find creative solutions to the problems they face!

As a result of this journey I can always look back and rejoice that 2000 extraordinary people helped me create an album out of nothing and we had a hell of a ride!"

GOING FORWARD...

There have been many queries as to when the 'next album' is coming out, so I am excited to share with you that the first 50 future copies were bought by participants at my talks in Belgium and London last year! It appears that this is wonderful way to make music together, so the journey will certainly continue and I hope to have you join me as the new songs unfold.  I hope to have the website up and running for pre-sales very soon and would love to have you join me on the next part of this journey so please watch this space...

Live Forever... in memory of my father

Today it is 10 years since my father passed way. It feels surreal that so much life has been packed into those years for everyone in my family and that he hasn't been here for it. Even though he lives on in our hearts, it is on days like today that I miss him terribly and also celebrate his memory at the same time. The day after he died, I found solace with my piano and journal, and the song 'Forever In Me' was born. It took me many years before I could sing it without getting choked up, but over time it has become more and more of a celebration of his memory and the way he lived his life. I have been asked to sing it at quite a few funerals, and find it a challenge to share this song in the face of such raw grief even though I know it is the right song for those moments.

I was really touched, when a year ago the song was used as the soundtrack for a BabySense ad, as a celebration of new life and the road that stretches ahead for every newborn. It felt fitting that a song born of endings should also herald new beginnings. As indeed "there is no death, only life. While things may change, they do not die. And the biggest compliment I have ever had - is it's your eyes I have".

I love you Dad!

Reason for Everything...

A few days ago I had quite a rant about the host of bookings that had suddenly cancelled on me and left the financial horizon of November looking alarmingly bleak. It was great to vent my frustations and to experience that by just writing down how I was feeling, cleared up a lot of space for me to deal effectively with 'Now What?'

So, when I found myself sitting at the stunning new Cape Town International Airport on Tuesday and getting ready to head to Europe for my first international speaking/performing engagement and I was feeling relieved! This last week has seen me pack up our entire house so that I could get moved out before I left and on top of that I have been co-ordinating presentation videos being edited, albums getting packed, business cards being printed etc etc etc.

Now, imagine if I had in fact not had any of my bookings cancel? The last week would have seen me in Joburg until 20^th November after which I would have jetted home just in time to drive the band to ZIMFEST and then had only 2 days to pack up house and arrange an overseas trip before speaking at an event today and then sliding into the airport on the threads of my worn out socks!

As my ever steady, unfailingly supportive boyfriend drove me to the airport I felt very grateful for the unexpected cancellations. It is another of life's lessons that everything happens for a reason – however unexpected or upsetting at the time – and that hindsight is often the only way to make sense of life's twists and turns and say 'AH, that's why!' So, this is me saying thank you for the cancellations, thank you for the lesson to charge deposits in future and THANK YOU for all the extra time I have had to be ready for this next adventure! Bring on the seasons 'cos I've weathered them all!

Wherever life goes... off to the UK

I thought it fitting that as I am winging my way to the UK tonight to speak at the Entrepreneurs World Cup in London & then Antwerp, that I should share this music video for my song "Wherever Love (or life) Goes".

I shot it 4 years ago with my director friend Dale Rodkin up on the west coast. We just headed off with a steadycam, a boom box to play the track, and the intention to have a blast. It was a stunning afternoon playing in the waves with Dale's sister Cindy running behind us with the song blasting so that I could sing along. Really one of those experiences of making something out of very little and having fun doing it.

So, as I head into the big unknown of speaking on my first international stage, all I can say is "sink or swim, 'cos it's life we are in - and you can fight it or you can go with the flow. And breathe it in, and let it give you wings, and take you wherever it is life goes!"

One small step at a time...

It took us 8hours, 17minutes and 43seconds to reach the top of Platteklip Gorge with my mum, but against all odds - an ageing body, mild emphasema, a frozen shoulder and an compacted spine - she did it! It took a group effort to get her up the mountain - slowing down to match her pace and just accepting that we would get there one small step at a time.  The fact that she could have her family there to help her reach her goal brought home to me that none of us ever achieve anything alone, and it was a huge exercise in 'alone we can't, together we can!' . It's the people around us - who help us, who believe in us, who encourage us, who push us when we want to quit - who are intrinsic to our success.

At the end of the day she was able to look down on Cape Town and celebrate that she had realised a HUGE dream that a year ago she had given up on ever achieving. I can't explain how incredible it felt to see her face and to know with every fibre of my being that change is possible for anyone. If my mother can summit a mountain after coming back from the brink of death, then I truly believe anyone can do anything if they just do it at the pace they are capable of.

Near the top of the mountain we all started humming the theme to Chariots of Fire and also singing my song "Push Me On" to keep her going, and it was an emotional experience to have the words find new meaning in terms of her journey and to watch her keep on pushing till she reached her goal. AMAZING!!!

"Hold on - just a little longer. You are so much - closer than you know...
 Hold on - it's just a little further and we'll push you on - till you reach home"

   

 

Miracle... a song for my mother

Tomorrow is a big day in my family. A year ago we were in a very scary place where it looked unlikely that my mum would live to see Christmas. She has had a rough couple of years since my dad passed away, and was in an increasingly fragile space. Leading up to November last year we felt less and less like we could reach her in any meaningful way, and it was devastating to watch the woman we love so much start slipping away from us as her sorrow consumed her. It took a very brave intervention by my sister and I that finally set her on a path of letting go of her pain and starting to embrace life. We didn't know if she would go with us, but I think our concern and love for her filtered through and she finally turned back towards living the life she deserves.

It has been a miracle beyond words to see my mother come back to us - vibrant, happy, involved and even a little cheeky. She is in such a powerful space and tomorrow as way to acknowledge her journey, the family will help her realise a life long dream to climb Table Mountain. Given her age and that her body has been through the mill, we have to start VERY early, but one gentle step at a time we intend to help her realize that dream and celebrate the road ahead looking out across Cape Town.

Below are the lyrics to my song Miracle that I wrote for her when she was at a low point a few years back. It was a my wish that somehow she would start to see her as we do and celebrate the unique gift she is to the world. It is a blessing beyond words to have the lyrics in this song realised and to bear witness to my mother's transformation from pain & grief to a woman who is grasping her life in both hands and being the gorgeous, unique, phenomenal woman that she is!

When the sun sets tomorrow,  I hope it sets on all your sorrows. And when it rises the day after, I hope it rises to your laughter. When the moon shines I hope that you find, All the light that's on the inside. And a moon trail on a still lake - makes you dive in and your soul wakes...

To the miracle of who you are - you're as infinite as the stars - that's the miracle of who you are....

And as time goes and your life flows, I hope you tingle from your head to your toes. Always enraptured by what you've captured, I hope you know how much you matter. You're a galaxy of possibilities, you're as big as you allow yourself to be. You choose the colours, you choose the textures, fill your life with people who reflect the... Miracle of who you are - you're as infinite as the stars - that's the miracle of who you are...

You're wonderful, you're beautiful - you're magical and you are everything inbetween. Magnificent, yes you're heaven sent - you are as big as the dream you dream... And that's the miracle of who you are - you're as infinite as the stars...

I love you Mum!

In for the long ride...

I blurted out my frustrations yesterday and it has been amazing to see the response. I realise that in this journey I mostly focus on all the good bits- and there have been alot - but often I carry to angst and pain of the uncertainity of this road on my own. It felt good to share what I have been dealing with and to hear that I am not alone. While I experience so many miracles in the work I do, the day to day is often exhausting, given that there are no guarantees on this path and it is a gamble to even try. I know that is life, but the artistic endeavour is one that requires that we reach right into the depths of our souls, draw out all that is sacred to us, and slap that out on canvas, in words or in song and then trust that we can actually survive long enough to see our work have some sort of impact in the world.

I watched Elisabeth Gilbert's TED talk on Genius last night with some girl friends and it brought home to me, that as an artist, my job is to just show up and do my work. If by some divinely happy accident that work is infused with that something extra - that 'X Factor' if you will - then WOW, Thank You, Yipppeee! But that is something I have no control over - just like I cant control if the radio stations will play my songs, or if people come to our shows or if this dream plays out exactly the way I hope it will. All I can control is that I show up because I love what I do, and but that account I love how hard the road is at times, because that is what grows me. That is what gives my work depth and allows me to connect with similar experiences in others - be it through song, poem or a talk.

Pondering this all today brought me to a song I have been working on recently, and I have been belting out the chorus at my piano and getting present to the fact that this is the road I choose - the ups, the downs, the disappointments, the celebrations - all of it - and I am in for the long ride!

"So if at first I don't succeed, just keep your eye on me - 'cos I'll try and I'll try again - until the day I win - I wont give in. And if at first you don't succeed - all you ever need... is to try and to try again - until the day you win - DONT GIVE IN!!!"

Sorry for the 'inconvenience'....

I am frustrated! November was set to be a super busy and lucrative month with 3 big talks and Zimfest for the band to perform at. So imagine my disappointment when a very well paying talk cancels out of the blue which also means that my flight to Jozi (that coincided nicely with TEDx) was going to have to come out of my pocket. Then a few days later, Zimfest decides to 'postpone' the festival because the rain – 10 days before the event! So – onwards I go and buy my ticket for TEDx only to have Kulula make a monumental hash of the booking which resulted in me having to pay for it TWICE because they neglected to ask for email/fax confirmation of internet transfers and wouldn't let me board without swiping my card. Talk about Kulula.con!

So, after an awesome time at TEDx, here I am waiting to fly home when in comes an email from my CT talk saying 'sorry for the inconvenience but we are postponing the event till next year'.... Amazingly the client who cancelled last week also apologised for the inconvenience!

INCONVENIENCE? A traffic jam is inconvenient, a power failure is inconvenient, chips when you ordered a baked potato is inconvenient! Cancelling a confirmed talk that has been invoiced for, has required that a tax clearance certificate be issued by SARS to satisfy miles of bureacratic red tape and has meant other bookings have been turned away is NOT INCONVENIENT! It is a serious dent in a very tight month of planning, a massive financial blow to a one woman show, a huge disappointment and a very large pain in the proverbial butt!

I am coming to realise that a hefty deposit for any bookings is what is required. No more Miss "I Love Doing Things for Free so Please Don't Worry About the Impact Your Shift in Schedule has on Me"!

There... I have spoken my truth! This 'living your dreams' lark is quite a rollercoaster and not for the faint hearted I can promise you! Now...how am I going to pay the rent??